My oldest baby girl is really 7? Every year I ask her to stop growing. She just gives me that sweet Laney smile and says, "Awe Mom!"
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
It's Christmas Eve and I just tucked my sweet babes into bed. We read the story of baby Jesus from the bible and I sang Away in a Manger. Never in my life has the power of Jesus name been so sweet to me. I've been a Christian most of my life, was raised in church, a "Jesus is the reason for the season" type of person. Looking back, I realize I never really understood how much Jesus loves me, us, humankind.
We moved to New Mexico two years ago with four very small girls. Far from the comforts of family to lean on in a strange barren land. At first it was very hard living here, trying to adjust and very uncomfortable. Let me pause to tell you that if you find yourself in uncomfortable place in life, God is probably about to take you on a journey. A journey that is painful at first, but if you stop and let him show you things that you need to change, beautiful things can happen. I'm amazed at the things God has shown me about myself in the past two years. Issues I've held onto for most of my life. Issues I still wanted to hold onto, control and fix myself. Some are stupid issues, some are bigger and more important. I have issues with church people and what the body of Christ is, and personal attitude issues to name a few. Anyways. I knew he brought us to Albuquerque for a reason. The biggest reason was to grab hold of my attention and work on my heart.
On December 7th, just a few weeks ago, I was in a rollover car accident. I had my two youngest girls in the car with me, Savanna 4 and Addison 3. We were on our way to pick up my oldest two daughters, as they were about to get out of school. Driving down a busy and traffic filled road, a car came into my lane causing me to veer out the way. Even after adjusting my car, the other car still didn't see me and I over corrected trying to get out of their way. It's happens so fast. A glimpse. I knew I no longer had control over the car and we were starting to flip. I called on the name of Jesus. I prayed, "Jesus, please protect my babies!" That is the last thing I remember until I was being rescued from the car and even those memories go in and out. I kept asking about my girls. "Are my kids ok?" The voices kept telling me that they were being looked after. I knew I was injured and they just say that so they can keep you calm. Going in and out of consciousness, I was airlifted to the hospital. I arrive at the ER. I can answer questions. My clothes are being cut off.....I keep asking for my girls. Then my husband is there. "Babe, have you seen the girls? Are they ok?" He says, "They're fine, there's nothing wrong with them!" "They are absolutely perfect!" I know my husband would tell me the truth, but it seems impossible that they would be ok. "There's NOTHING wrong with them?", I ask.
A witness told my husband that our car flipped at least five times. Five times and my babies have no bruises, no broken bones, nothing. (Savanna bit her tongue and Addy had a little scratch by her mouth, probably from her teeth.) They were released from the ER that night. I had just been at a MOPS Christmas tea earlier in the day and the back of my suburban was full of glass teacups, plates and serving platters. My husband tells me they were shattered inside and out of the car. Pieces of tea cups all over the road. We roll five times and pieces of glass are flying everywhere and my babies are perfect. Every time I think about it, I cry and a feeling that I can't describe comes over me. Every part of me knows that Jesus was sitting in that car with us. Jesus, I will never again underestimate the power of your name and the power of the love you have for your children. My babies are perfect.
I have a C2 fracture, which just means my second vertebrae down from my head is fractured. I have to wear a halo for 6-12 weeks and full recovery won't be for another 6-9 months. I was released from the hospital four days after the accident. Every nurse and doctor that cared for me told me how lucky I was to not have sustained more serious injuries. They tell me that most people that have a car accident as serious as mine, don't have the use of their legs. They tell me that some don't make it out alive. They tell me that I was lucky. It wasn't luck. It was a miracle. Jesus was sitting in that car with us.
His love and his power isn't just for me and my family. He's there for you. Waiting for you to notice him. Let go of the control you are trying so hard to hold onto. Jesus, the most beautiful name I know.
This Christmas I crashed our only car. This Christmas, I'm not able to pick up my kids. This Christmas, I have a dirty head with big scabs. This Christmas, I'm missing a fingernail that was ripped off during the accident. This Christmas, I lost my diamond wedding ring in an accident. Yet this is my favorite Christmas ever. This is the Christmas that Jesus sat in the car with us and my babies came out unharmed. This Christmas is all about sweet baby Jesus. Born on a midnight clear. O Holy Night. Nothing in the whole world can compare. My family is home, safe, warm, together, alive. We are thankful and blessed beyond measure.